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Dumb Ass Laws

By: Marcial Robiou

Every now and then, stupid things happen: Arnold gets elected governor, network television introduces its new fall lineup, the Heat tries to play, and so on.

Listed below are some rules that are so idiotic, you’d think a crackhead was at the helm, but they are ‘honest to God’ Florida laws. Please refrain from thinking about these laws, as you will probably give yourself an aneurysm. Just read and laugh, or cry.

LAW 1 Here’s one that is never enforced on South Beach – Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

LAW 2 or The Anti-Oliver Twist law – It is illegal to sell your children.

LAWS 3 – 5 or The Sex is Boring Laws – You may not kiss your wife’s breasts. When having sex, only the missionary position is legal. Oral sex is illegal.

LAW 6 or The Alabama Law – Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal

LAW 7 or the Fat Bastard Law – You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays.

LAW 8 or The What the Hell? Law – A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.

LAW 9 a.k.a Roads-are-for-cars-only law – If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.

LAW 10 enforced only in Daytona – The molestation of trash cans is prohibited

LAW 11 enforced in Tampa – Women may not expose their breasts while performing “topless dancing.”

There are a hell of lot more pointless rules in the state of Florida alone, and if you want to have a dose of pants-wetting inducing humor, log on to and let the good times roll.

0 0 584 01 January, 2004 Other January 1, 2004

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